I wrote this piece several weeks ago when I was feeling lost. I'm in a great place now and wanted to share...hope it helps those of you "searching" for meaning....
WHERE DO I BELONG
There is a strange restlessness that comes over you when you become aware that your heart isn't in in your life. You feel weary and bored and skittish and prickly and very lonely all at once.
It's different from the general malaise one feels when routinely staring at the ceiling at 2 am. It isn't satisfied with a meager "JKL...just keep living "... attitude or by posting a witty platitude on Facebook. No, this is an overwhelming "I've got to change my life or die" time is running out, kind of awareness.
It has taken hold of me now.
This is the latest turn in the path on my journey of personal truth. It started as an annoying longing for satisfaction and has become a constant companion that will not be ignored. It won't let me rest. Like a babe that wants to be fed, my soul is screaming for satisfaction. The cry warns me to listen or face an epic life crisis.
I have worked on my being. My heart is now open. My conscious self is aware. My Spirit is illuminated. My body is energized. My soul is awakened. And now all those parts of me want to be fed after waking up from their long winters nap. How do you create a life to satisfy all that? Following your heart and feeding your soul isn't as easy as it sounds. You can't mapquest your yellow brick rd.
I've started by taking stock as they say. Looking at what fills up the shelves in my life pantry. It is rather daunting. When sleepwalking through life we certainly acquire a lot of meaningless bullshit on our shelves in human and material form. That realization pitches me into the dark side of my heart. But that seems to be the messy place where most of my soul work is done. It isn't so scary anymore. It's my best friend.
When you become spiritually awakened and start to enter the 5th dimension, you require a deeper commitment from your heart. One that gives more love than you ever have before. You develop a heightened awareness of deep meaningful connection and understand what is truly important in life. Suddenly this makes many things that used to be fulfilling become insignificant.
It's tough when you discover your heart wasn't completely in your 3rd Dimension life. Suddenly home is somewhere you don't belong. Possessions no longer hold the appeal they once did. Your career without passion is just a " job" you don't want to go to. Relationships are uncomfortable as you move away from commonalities you no longer share. It as if your language of love has changed and your loved ones now speak in a foreign tongue. Nothing is relateable. No place feels familiar.
In this place of transition, this 4th dimension, I often feel I am lost except inside myself.
Only my dog, meditation and a few spiritual friends ease me. This is a hard lonely kind of awful place to be. I'm thinking maybe this is the purgatory Mom used to warn us about. It feels like a holding cell. A place of life review where you muster up your courage while saying " how the hell do I pull this off". How do I change from rising to every occasion for others, to living my dreams. And what are my dreams anyway? Will I have to defend my great awakening as others reduce it to a silly life crisis? Are myself and God really the only ones I have to answer to? Tough place to be.. But it is a beautiful place too. I know the voids left from clearing what no longer serves me will be filled by beauty and grace when I finally live my hearts desire. I wonder what and who will be left standing in the end. But I push the gloomy thoughts aside as I ride closer to my own authenticity. I can't wait to live my souls desire , my divine purpose and those thoughts propel me forward on my quest. My heart guides me as the truth unfolds like a red carpet welcome.
And how are my desires revealed? Through connection!
I notice, I observe. I listen. I ask. I ask myself and Spirit.
I meditate every day. I invoke the energy of the Angels especially Gabriel to bring me clear messages and Michael to protect me. I think deeply and listen to my body about what brings me joy, what feels right, who I am comfortable with. The answers surprise me every day. It's amazing what we learn by asking ourselves simple questions. Do I like that? Am I comfortable? Where is my heart? How does this make my body feel? Ease or disease?
I learn and I discern. Through the process my life teaches me where I belong. I have discovered my yellow brick road is paved with gratitude and love..for myself. It is leading me to my divine purpose and passion. I feel contentment creeping in. I am discovering that I am on earth to open and heal hearts and that the purpose of my human experience is to put love where there is none. I know the qualities I desire and deserve in a life partner and I am certain he is near. I have a life path set now and I know my desires, I do something daily towards my goals. I now stand firm in my conviction to create the life I want. The courage for the required changes comes easy when your aim is true! I Realize I belong in the moment true to myself and that wherever I am if I always believe something wonderful is about to happen it does!
The "building blocks" , the bricks in that yellow road are magical. The first one says " love yourself", the second says, " be grateful, the third says "you're worth the life you want" , and on and on, follow, follow, follow....to a miraculous journey....
We are all just a short journey away from a miracle. Start laying your magical yellow bricks today...
And let me know what happens.....
Spiritual Healer, Energetic Medium
This Blog is the story of the miracles, challenges and lessons of my life journey. Years ago when I hit a personal "rock bottom" my despair led me to seek answers and my quest for truth began. Amazing events propelled me on a spiritual journey of transformation.. Miraculously, through these experiences my life has become my teacher and my friend.... I hope my words connect us and allow us to walk together for a time as teacher and friend to each other. The most valuable thing we have during this human experience is our connection to love. The love in our soul for a higher power and others is the only thing that is real. I honor these connections through my writing. Theses words are my gift inspired through the heart of Spirit for you. I hope by sharing my journey it will enlighten, inspire and ease yours as it does mine >> ... Peace... Georgia Rose