THIS IS FOR ALL MY SINGLE FRIENDS <3 . Be HAPPY DATING!
I was thinking back on the many relationships, dating and blind meet ups, I have had over the last 7 years. Prior to that my ex- husband and I were together for over 18 years. So, at first, dating was very uncomfortable, as you can imagine. I remember the first time a man kissed me. I was standing in a parking lot saying goodnight, when this very handsome retired Fireman swept me up in a movie star kiss. I had to restrain my arms from pushing him away while a voice in my head screamed at high volume "OH MY GOD SOMEONE IS KISSING YOU AND IT'S NOT YOUR HUSBAND!" Yes, panic set in that night!
It took me a long time to sit across a strange man at dinner and not panic. I found myself assessing each man and asking "could I live with this person for the rest of my life"? You can imagine that would be a bit heavy to be thinking on a first date, right? But it seemed sensible to me at the time. What the hell did I know about dating? Nothing. I only knew I had been hurt by someone I blindly trusted. It was for my own good to put these next candidates for my affection under very powerful scrutiny, or it could happen again. And there was no way I would survive that!
One day I recieved profound advice from a very wise friend. She told me it was important to observe a man on a date but do so by staying present. I tried it. I would see how he handled anger or frustration if our table took a long wait to be seated or there was no parking or someone cut him off in traffic. I observed his conversation- was it all about him or was he interested in me too. Was he supportive of my interests or did he dismiss them. Does he talk about family in a loving way or with conflicts and anger. Is he compassionate and polite or closed and abrupt. And when my mind started to race ahead and I began the " could I be with this guy for the rest of my life" scenario I took a deep breath and repeated to myself "You are just having dinner, let's focus on that".
Giving myself permission to stay in the moment and be an observer without judgement took away so much anxiety. I found myself really having a great time even when maybe the guy wasn't for me. I dated up a storm and had new experiences and met many interesting gentlemen - some who turned out to be very good friends. I definetly dated a lot at one point ( not to be confused with physical intimacy) because once I relaxed I was curious to see what life was like out there i the world! LOL Looking back my life was very enriched by experiences I never would have had if I was a long time married lady.
There were many lonely times too. Being single for many years is not an ideal situation especially for a Libra. It's in my nature to pair and at times loneliness ate me alive and I write about those years and that journey in my blog The Rose Blog on my website. But I realize that Spirit wanted that time in my life to develop me and teach me through relationship. And I needed to be alone for long blocks of space to do that. In totality all of it taught me to trust. Trust that Spirit and the Universe are putting you exactly where you should be. I found that when I used my situation and the times I was in to my advantage there were many opportunities to heal.
My long term singledom became a classroom in human behavior . Mine and theirs. It made me grow up more than I ever thought possible. I learned how to handle spontaneous situations. I learned my boundaries and comfort levels. I learned what rejection is and to never take it personal. (HUGE) Being able to say to yourself "he is just not into me" and walk away without feeling less than or not pretty enough or down on yourself in some way is very freeing. When you realize sometimes you feel the same way about him and step up and are able to speak your mind with kindness that is also very freeing. Because sometimes he is a really great guy but he is just not "your guy" and you can't pretend or play a role ever again. It is very powerful when you discover you are not "that girl" anymore and rising to the occasion is no longer necessary to prove anything. You look at yourself through your eyes only, not others and you become appreciative of your own magnificence. Suddenly you are comfortable in your own skin and you only do the things that feel right and good. With nothing to prove you discover that you really like yourself and dating and being alone teaches you much of that! .
This classroom also teaches me priceless lessons about our vibration and how we attract others. As I grew into a calmer more confident person the quality of men in my life grew more stable and strong. As I became more healthy, I attracted more healthy. When I was fearful or insecure I attracted the fearful and insecure. This is not just a theory but truth. As I grew within myself the caliber of my relationships and the men who came into my life improved. Each one better than the next. At one point I even joked to my friend after a painful break up - wow I can't wait to see who comes in next cause this guy was awesome. LOL. Dating also taught me what not to accept and not to compromise on what is important to me. I understand how my beliefs hold me together and I can't sacrifice them.
An example of this is I once had a boyfriend who broke up with me and partly blamed "my beliefs". At the time I believed and was heavily "into" Angels. Needless to say I let my connection with him go.
A couple of months later I met someone that I was very attracted to. One day he leaned in for our "first kiss" . It was magical, but then suddenly I felt him pull away and say "What the f--- was that"? I began to reply something stupid about our attraction and he said "NO. I just saw like shooting stars like colors fly past my vision when I opened my eyes and I was kissing you"...
Oh that ! "that's just my Angels ", I said. We gently laughed. But inside I was laughing hysterical at my Angels playing their favorite game of irony and whimsy on me. They were showing me the balance of the universe! All it requires is an open heart.
That guy took the experience in stride even though it shook him a bit- and for the rest of our time together he sometimes called me "Angel". And I enjoyed it. Ours was an important connection that eventually transcended to friendship.
And we can never have enough of those beautiful connections, Friendship transcends all!
I have so many stories and happenings like that. But the most important thing dating showed me is that I don't have to care about where somebody has been - only where they are going. Because the truth is I don't really care where I have been. I only care where I am going. So keep moving! It's all good and the best part may be the ride! Believe and trust that there is always something good coming. So just get out there and live full throttle! Oh and don't forget it's important to date yourself too!
Sending peace and love to all the single girlies and guys! Georgia Rose
Spiritual Healer, Energetic Medium
This Blog is the story of the miracles, challenges and lessons of my life journey. Years ago when I hit a personal "rock bottom" my despair led me to seek answers and my quest for truth began. Amazing events propelled me on a spiritual journey of transformation.. Miraculously, through these experiences my life has become my teacher and my friend.... I hope my words connect us and allow us to walk together for a time as teacher and friend to each other. The most valuable thing we have during this human experience is our connection to love. The love in our soul for a higher power and others is the only thing that is real. I honor these connections through my writing. Theses words are my gift inspired through the heart of Spirit for you. I hope by sharing my journey it will enlighten, inspire and ease yours as it does mine >> ... Peace... Georgia Rose