Today I went walking with my dog Sparky around my neighborhood. It has been months since I walked the path that used to be our daily routine. I missed my walks with my dog and decided it was time to start my routine again. I live in a very scenic village and it’s a great place to walk about. I stopped walking at the end of last year when I broke up with a boyfriend who started dating another woman on my street. Walking to the park with Sparky meant walking past her house. I was the one who actually initiated the break up with the ex boyfriend and I have no desire to be with him, but it just feels awkward to walk past there …so I don’t do it. And so, I gave up something I love to do.
Today I renewed my appreciation for where I live. I walked past the beautiful marine basin filled with bobbing boat masts, onto the green lawn of the park, past the waterfalls. I looked up into a perfect blue sky with puffy white clouds and a clear sun high in the sky. It was a gorgeous day. I felt ashamed and stupid that I let some trivial awkward situation keep me from this beautiful experience I used to enjoy so often. I started to think about other situations in my life that bother me and make me unhappy. I thought…why do I allow them to continue, even though they are unwanted.
While I pondered these thoughts Sparky’s slow meanderings led the way around the park. A soft gentle breeze was coming across the lake. I pulled Sparky’s leash to take his attention from a tree bark and when I turned my face to the breeze it felt like I was being caressed by a hundred angel wings. The air smelled so sweet and a voice in my head said, “Georgia you need to take responsibility for these things”… … Huh?
Wow! Wherever that thought came from it was very humbling. And right on. I needed to take responsibility for the things that make me unhappy and anxious in my life. I deserve to be free of anything that doesn’t serve me and my highest good. Whatever negative thing is happening in my life I have caused it or allowed it to continue in some way by participating or not changing the situation. That was the truth and I heard it on the wind.
I was enjoying the park today because I took responsibility for my feelings. I stopped running away. I sucked it up and walked past the house I avoid. The reward far outweighed the discomfort. I thought about other situations that were not sitting right and out of balance in my world and I realized I have a couple of things to take care of. I need to take responsibility. I had done this so many times before over the last several years in my growth towards happiness. So many things had been changed and embarked on with great courage. But before courage always comes honesty. Welcome, brutal honesty with oneself, haven’t seen you in awhile….
And so here I was standing at the shores of honesty holding up a mirror of truth for myself. The irony is that here I was in my park in my beautiful place where I had spent so much time these past years doing just that. This was a place in my journey where I had walked off anger and sorrow and anxiety until it became gratitude and awe and wisdom these last few years. How had I forgotten this and reduced it to just a walk in the park that I stopped taking? And how could I have stayed away so long?
Ugh! The stupid things we humans do to ourselves when we act powerless are vast. How much of life and growth do we miss when we are stuck being victims? I was such a slacker letting myself miss out on my walks! Today I urge you to be the victor of your life.
It is a good time for honesty. What makes you unhappy? What do you need to do to change it? What do you need to do to make it more bearable? Now I know what you are thinking ….oh yes.. we all have those situations we say we cannot change. Illness or death or tragedy or maybe we are stuck in addiction or in a situation we feel powerless in. Some of us live with sorrow every day. But that doesn’t mean we have to lose hope or be a victim. As Joyce Meyers says “You can be powerful or powerless but you can’t be both.”
When we have a situation that seems unchangeable, when we change how we deal with it and make any change possible to allow us to feel better in it, so we can work through it..then we are no longer powerless. I recently wrote a blog about my Mom’s death. When she was dying I couldn’t change that. I was so angry it threatened to drown me. But instead of letting my anger and sorrow keep me from visiting her I used to go and give her manicures and be grateful for her. My grief did not render me a powerless victim. I took responsibility and made the best use of my time with her.
Today was so much more than just a walk in the park. I had forgotten all the things those long walks in my own solitary company had taught me. I forgot one of the reasons that Sparky is such a divine gift. I would never have started those walks if not for that wondrous animal coming into my life. I was blind and in the dark for a while about how important my park and that daily walk is for my life’s growth. I let my ego stop me from doing something I love. I broke one of my cardinal rules. It is in nature and it’s grounding that we sometimes get clarity and today I am blessed that I see clearly once again.
I walked home lighter and happier and when I got to my front door I realized I had walked past the “awkward” house and not even noticed it.
The thing holding you back from changing what makes you unhappy or reaching for what you want is more than likely so not worth the pain. Reach over your ego, your fear, your “awkward” and your doubt and do what you need to do to make yourself happy. Say what needs to be said to the people who mean something to you. And most of all don’t let anything stop you from doing what you love to do. It is the most important thing in the world!
Peace and love,
Spiritual Healer, Energetic Medium
This Blog is the story of the miracles, challenges and lessons of my life journey. Years ago when I hit a personal "rock bottom" my despair led me to seek answers and my quest for truth began. Amazing events propelled me on a spiritual journey of transformation.. Miraculously, through these experiences my life has become my teacher and my friend.... I hope my words connect us and allow us to walk together for a time as teacher and friend to each other. The most valuable thing we have during this human experience is our connection to love. The love in our soul for a higher power and others is the only thing that is real. I honor these connections through my writing. Theses words are my gift inspired through the heart of Spirit for you. I hope by sharing my journey it will enlighten, inspire and ease yours as it does mine >> ... Peace... Georgia Rose