There is a Winnie the Pooh story about Tigger seeing a creature with stripes and assuming it’s a Tigger too, so he tries to make friends, but it turns out to be a bumble bee and Tigger gets stung. Seems silly but isn’t that what we do? We choose our friends because they are “like “us or are “in the same boat” sharing similar lives and common beliefs. We tend to think we can only be loved and understood by someone in the same place as us. If we are sharing the same experience at any given time then it’s a real connection. But in reality just because something has stripes doesn’t mean it’s a Tiger. Don’t judge a book by its cover …that’s pretty fundamental and most of us are evolved enough not to form opinions based on appearance.
And yet we judge if others are a “fit” for us based on a snapshot of their life. This realization came to me when someone recently said to me “Our lives are so different”. The statement was thrown out to explain a chasm of impossibility and challenged me to build a bridge across the breach... I wanted to say “But you don’t really know me”, but I knew it would fall flat and cliché” even to my own ears. So I didn’t say much. As another friend taught me a long time ago, “If you have to explain it they wouldn't understand”, and this was one of those moments. It wasn’t the right time to “sell myself”, it would fall on deaf ears. But, it got me thinking.
We decide who a person is from a snapshot of present time and we frame it with opinions based on what they drive and where they work and where they live and the clothes they wear and music they listen to and the shows they watch and who they have around them. An external snapshot of a person’s present lifestyle often becomes our whole story. And so we label…. Success or loser, clean or messy, healthy or sick, normal or crazy, like us or not like us…..etc... This determines if they will fit into our life and if they are worth knowing. But do we take time to “see”…who are they really?
Are we judging a life based on a lifestyle? Are we judging the inside based on the outside? The style doesn't always reveal the soul...
How many times have I done this and missed out on a great friendship? And how often had someone judged me and missed out on sharing what could have been an awesome connection? And how many times had I decided someone was “OK” because they shared a common belief or liked the same things as me, only to find no sincerity ? Yes, our lives may be very different or the same. Don’t discard or approve me based on that. Look deeper. When we limit ourselves to that snapshot and limit our opinion we may be selling ourselves and them short. When we define someone by the way they seem to live, we may be missing out on someone’s true story and assuming too much in either direction...
A mature discerning heart knows that people are not merely good or bad, lesser or better. We are not defined by our things or our fears and desires. We are defined by our character and our heart. Surface is not a sign of substance. If I have not shared your experience or lived a parallel life to you it does not necessarily give me a lack of understanding and if I have, it does not guarantee that I will be supportive or compassionate to you. Only an individual’s character can show you how they will react to your life and its challenges.
Character is not defined by what experiences you have lived, it is defined by what you learned from the experiences of your life and how you handle them.
There is so much more to me than my life today’s “snapshot”. I am my past. I am yet to be my future. I have been many places in my life. I have seen beautiful things few people have seen and I have seen some horrible things no one should see. I have been rich and poor, hungry and fat, worried and content. I have been pampered at 5 star spas and laid beaten and bloody on a dirty kitchen floor. I have rejoiced at births and held the ravaged body of loved ones as they died. I have traveled to exotic places and been too phobic to leave the house. I have known joy and grief, laughter and tears, anger and forgiveness, accomplishment and failure. I have been criticized and praised. I have lied and been lied to. I have merged and I have been abandoned, I have loved and known both sides of rejection. I have been rewarded and humiliated. I have broken illusions and created reality. I have been surrounded by an army of angels and known loneliness that ate me alive. I have made passionate love and known the shame of hate. I have thought myself forgotten by God and found bliss in His grace.
You can't know all this by the house I live in or the car I drive or the clothes I wear.
And through each experience that I enjoyed or endured, I was taught how to treat another in that given circumstance. My heart was molded and shaped by all the days of my life. Life has opened me to feel great depths of emotion.
There is much strength in that. I often have a keen empathy and know exactly what someone needs to make life a little better. I believe my journey has given me wisdom and compassion and a deeper understanding of others. My life has given me broad shoulders to carry what needs to be done. Living a life of extremes has trained me to deal with anything that comes my way. My survival kit is full of tricks learned along the way and I’ve been known to pull a rabbit out of my hat when you least expect it! I am a steadfast fighter. Whether I am in the board room or on the street, summoning Angels or negotiating deals I am a worthy opponent. I know how to comfort another with a touch or just “be” a quiet presence. I know when to show up and when to back off. I know loving means when I help you I help myself.
I don’t need to walk in your shoes to understand you and help you.
Walking in my own has taught me how to do that.
I have been abandoned, so I will not leave you. I have lost others, so I will appreciate you. I have been cheated, so I will be loyal. I have been judged so I will embrace you. I have been hungry, so I will feed you. I have been lonely, so I will hug you. I have been sick, so I will nurtur you. I have been doubted, so I will believe in you. I have been ignored, so I will listen intently. I am not perfect. I am quirky, driven, “wordy” and a bit of a hard ass. I am different from you. I am the same as you. Either way I am probably someone you want on your side.
Sure, our lifestyles may be different or the same. But what is important to you, my life or my heart?
True connection comes from our passion, vulnerability and the willingness to see the heart of someone. Look past the "stripes" go deeper to form your connections and you will be less likely to get stung and life seems sweeter somehow.
Peace and Love,
Spiritual Healer, Energetic Medium
This Blog is the story of the miracles, challenges and lessons of my life journey. Years ago when I hit a personal "rock bottom" my despair led me to seek answers and my quest for truth began. Amazing events propelled me on a spiritual journey of transformation.. Miraculously, through these experiences my life has become my teacher and my friend.... I hope my words connect us and allow us to walk together for a time as teacher and friend to each other. The most valuable thing we have during this human experience is our connection to love. The love in our soul for a higher power and others is the only thing that is real. I honor these connections through my writing. Theses words are my gift inspired through the heart of Spirit for you. I hope by sharing my journey it will enlighten, inspire and ease yours as it does mine >> ... Peace... Georgia Rose