My spiritual journey, my quest to discover who I am and my purpose has taken me on many twists and turns. But thankfully, many of my "whys" have been answered. I am presently content to go with the current and neither question or resist life but simply enjoy and observe it.. Quite a difference from the me years ago, that could not sit still for more than 5 minutes. And I was too filled with anxiety and out of control emotions to figure anything out. I have come a long way.
During one of my very first meditations, years ago, when I had no idea what I was doing I heard a voice say "put love where there is none".
I wasn't even sure what that meant. I was just so excited that something happened besides me trying to keep the grocery list out of my brain, while I attempted to quiet my chaotic mind. At the time my yoga practice was new and I was spending a lot of time reading the Sutras that eventually would become the basis of my existence in this life. This made me more peaceful, but left me with so many questions that my lesson on the mat became patience for the entire first year. Yes, patience was required and something I had in short supply as I tried to figure out what love was and where was I supposed to put it?
That was a frustrating and sometimes hellish time as I released and dealt with the demons of my past. Of course I had yet to realize that releasing that past which was filled with illusions was crucial to finding the answer to that cryptic message sent to me in meditation.
That first year of the journey held brutal awakenings, I tell you. But somehow I look back at it now with joy and nostalgia. Self discovery really is like childbirth! You forget the pain and only see the beautiful gift.
I have birthed a new me after a very long and arduous labor. And after all the dark nights and brilliant days and unexplained and solved mysteries and challenges and tragedy and joy and loss...my journey has all come down to one thing.
And now my purpose has become learning how to raise the new me, this amazing being I have birthed in love. Love for myself and others.
Oh I know it sounds so simple and so easy, but in truth it is quite the challenge. My commitment to successfully achieving self love and love for all beings has become my quest and my life purpose. Most days I succeed in my mission. My motivation is in knowing If I can truly master this I will know wisdom, joy, peace and love greater than any I could imagine. Divine love.
I have felt this love, touched it and remembered its place of residence inside me that I know is my soul. It is tucked there to be shared with you. But it took awhile for me to find that place. And once I was there it actually took me awhile to recognize and understand what love is.
It sounds funny to be half way through ones life and to not know what love is. But I had no point of reference for it. Every reference to loving and being loved had ended badly or negatively. Every persons profession of it had turned out to be false, and every definition of it proved wrong and detrimental to me. In fact this thing called " love " didn't feel very good at all and had left so much wreckage behind in my tattered heart that I had assigned it all the blame for the bleak and hopeless circumstance I had found myself in when I decided to begin my journey.
Assigning that blame took me off the hook. I gave up. I gave up on love. Told myself I couldn't be with anyone, couldn't love anyone.
And so unknowingly I committed to living in a void. While that felt safe and like what I needed, it was the worst thing for me. I could never grow there, I would never learn what love is from that vantage point. I was stuck...I was empty and miserable as each day ran into the next.
Not knowing what love is and admitting I wasn't sure of its existence gave me a free pass not to have to make an effort with anyone. When in truth it is only in relationship with another that we can learn what love is and is not. You can't learn to ride a bicycle unless you get on one..
That meditation where I was told " put love where there is none" began my quest. I had to figure out what this thing called love was. And then figure out where I was supposed to put it.
Boy was I confused...was I safer denying love or seeking it?
Slowly, I figured it out. I went back to basics. I knew love was supposed to feel good. I found that if I could set aside my fear of love and just observe my feelings in different situations I learned what felt good and what did not.
At first that was confusing. Why was I sometimes drawn to someone I didn't really know and yet avoided people I have known for years and was "supposed " to love. For instance why did It feel better when my Yoga instructor hugged me than I did when some family members hugged me? I realized that good feeling was love. And I felt it from some people and not from others and it had nothing to do with how long I knew them or who they were to me or how compatible we were or what we had in common. It had everything to do with how authentic they were. I listened to my body. I let my body guide me to truth. It was infallible. When you don't know what to trust. Trust your body when you hug or touch someone.
Our body never lies to us. When something feels good it is good and that goodness is love. It really is that simple.
We complicate it all...and set the stage for failure.
In order to get to basics and simplify the concept of love I had to dispel all my illusions of what love is.
Every person has a different language of love. A definition that is filled with different cliches and conditions, arrangements and bargains and expectations and dos and don't s and desired outcomes that we think are "love" . We all do it...we want someone with money or a good planner or stable or independent and caring and a good listener and a good cook and who likes the same music or plays golf and is sexy,or smokes or doesn't smoke..and I ask you what does any of that have to do with love?
It's no wonder we are confused by it all. Especially when we expect our partner to know "our" language without offering any interpretation of its code.
Naturally we often end up in power plays and disappointment. Wondering what happened when "things" start to change. But mostly we are just confused and don't know how or what we are feeling. In that confusion we fall back on what we are told love is supposed to be and feel ...you know like in the movies. Using fantasy as our barometer everyone falls short and too often everything falls apart. We have based our happiness on things that are external and not real. We have based fulfillment on obtaining a fantasy and completing a checklist.
Some of us spend a lifetime looking for love. We spend a lifetime trying to squeeze something real out of things that are not real. All those arrangements and expectations and cliches and demands and bargains we make trying to bind and sew love together to get that " feeling" are not real, they mean nothing, they have no value. Our conditioned language of love is a false tongue. It isn't until we let go of all these illusions and learn a new language and learn what is real that we understand what love is.
Through yoga and meditation my closed,bruised, cynical, grouchy heart started to open. And I started to long for love in my life even though a big part of me still wasn't sure about it all. I think the energy of being around people who had open hearts and were peaceful and loving like my instructor Jackie helped to shift my energy.
When you are on a journey to find something it's really good if you can search beside people who've already found what you are looking for. And love, real love is a primal need. Few of us can sustain our lives without sourcing love from somewhere .
And through observing my feelings I understood and came to know what love is and how it feels.
Love is pure joy. Love is an unmistakable energy unlike any other feelings. You feel it spontaneously in your body when you hug someone. You feel it when you take right action for no reason other than basic goodness. It bubbles up from your soul. Love just "is" . It has no agenda, no conditions, no needs or wants. It is completely selfless. Love doesn't take sides. It has no mine or yours , it only knows "ours." It can not be based on anything external but only on what is within us.
The people we feel love from and love for sometimes don't make sense to us. We meet someone new and we feel love the way I have just described it , but we tell ourselves no it can't be so because we don't know this person well enough or they are not our ideal. In our confusion we become fearful and often pull away and try to sever our connection.
In reality, time and our list of preferences have nothing to do with what is in our heart and soul. Trying to rationalize love against external conditions like time and our egos desires is like trying to hold water in a cup full of holes. Love has no conditions or boundaries or limits. It is not a condition of our mind or ego. It is a condition of our soul. Our soul has no limits. Since its energy transcends all time and space and has no boundaries, the love that emanates from there has no limits or boundaries. That explains why often a connection another is unexplainable and we can "feel" someone even when they are not around us or with us. This is "love" in its purest form. Since real love comes form our soul , our heart light, the energy of it is so powerful it can be felt across time and distance. This is a "soul mating " with another soul. We mate with many souls in our lifetime as friends, lovers, partners or particular family. These true soul pairings are brought to us to bring us joy, empowerment and for a specific purpose. This is real . It is heartfelt. It is unmistakable in your body.
True love based on soul energy is originated from a much higher source and that is why it can not be defined against our earthly explanation of what we "should " or "shouldn't " be feeling. Once we accept this our fear of love is diminished,and we are able to trust its authenticity, we open and allow love into our lives.
When we finally accomplish this open heart it is truly beautiful!
It took much introspection and reflection for me to understand that seemingly cryptic message I had received in meditation. Only after understanding what love is was I able to " put it where there is none" . You see, prior to this, I did not know what love was I did not have it in my own heart. As soon as I realized what love is my heart instantaneously became filled with an endless and limitless supply of it. For myself and others .
Since then my purpose became giving love away, to anyone and anything that needed it. And thus I finally understood the voice that said
" Put love where there is none"
So, what or who...was that voice I heard in meditation?
It was me. It was my higher self. My soul. The place within all of us that has the answers we seek. It is our God energy.or the energy of whatever source we were created from.
Meditation connects us to that source. So in actuality I did not learn what love is ....I remembered. I finally remembered.
There is no one on this earth that can not love. Everyone is capable of love. It's there within you. When someone comes into your life and you have that unexplainable connection, you hold them in your arms and hug them and it feels like something you can't describe and you can feel them across time and distance...That is love. It is your soul reminding you of what you already know. You are remembering what love is. It has nothing to do with any of the things our mind or ego thinks love is. This love just "is".
After many years of evolution through introspection and study and meditation I have evolved a daily Spiritual practice that keeps me calm, grounded and in "love. " It keeps me in my authentic self. As part of my daily spiritual practice it is my habit as my head hits the pillow at night to ask myself ..Did you love today? This means have I done a small act of kindness or particularly honored myself or another through words or deeds without need or want or agenda or attachment to an outcome. In other words did I love today just for the sake of loving. It ties in to my core belief that above all else we are here to love and be loved. And that I am here to " put love where there is none"! So far, I am love and I find love in everyday and my question is answered in the affirmative. I hope I never have a day where it is not.
Once your soul remembers what love is you can't live without it! Strong words from someone who once gave up on love and was determined to live without it!
Put love where there is none.
Peace and love,
Spiritual Healer, Energetic Medium
This Blog is the story of the miracles, challenges and lessons of my life journey. Years ago when I hit a personal "rock bottom" my despair led me to seek answers and my quest for truth began. Amazing events propelled me on a spiritual journey of transformation.. Miraculously, through these experiences my life has become my teacher and my friend.... I hope my words connect us and allow us to walk together for a time as teacher and friend to each other. The most valuable thing we have during this human experience is our connection to love. The love in our soul for a higher power and others is the only thing that is real. I honor these connections through my writing. Theses words are my gift inspired through the heart of Spirit for you. I hope by sharing my journey it will enlighten, inspire and ease yours as it does mine >> ... Peace... Georgia Rose