“And another thing, I’ve struggled with your beliefs”, he softly declared, almost as an afterthought. She watched him sitting on the couch head in hand in a defeated posture. And in that split second she saw the truth. And she knew it was over!
This man seemed so open to the part of her that would always be a mystery. He had seemed to be accepting the unexplainable with her. He was participating in Reiki circles and buying her crystals. She felt his love and acceptance in so many ways big and small. They had laughed together often over serendipity and “signs”. She had begun to feel safe; finally someone understood and was on her side.
But the truth was all that time he had been freaked out and anxious about those “things”. Now that anxiety about her beliefs was thrown on the pile with all the other reasons and excuses why “they could not work". To him her beliefs were just another troublesome inconvenience among an array of petty bullshit but to her it was ALL.
She bent over him to kiss him goodbye and she realized she had never seen anyone more afraid than she was…until now. His fear had completely closed him. This strong reliable man she loved and had enjoyed in her life was gone, locked in a cave of denial and doubt to deep for him to work through. He wasn’t brave enough to reach for her love. She was now considered too much of a risk. Her lips touched his cheek and she felt her heart contract with grief. She was a gift he could not unwrap, because the contents of the box could threaten him. She knew she was hardly any risk. She was bravely standing in front of him ready to love him fiercely and passionately without condition. But he could not see her. He only saw the things he could not explain and the things he had no answer for. He was leaving her wrapped and on the shelf and he would never know or experience all the beauty inside her.
She walked out the door and left the opportunity and promise of their connection behind. The gift was to be wasted in this lifetime. She bravely resolved to move forward as she put the car in drive to go back to her lonely home, but the flood gate of her heart burst and she couldn’t see the road through her tears. She wished she had a gear shift and a windshield with wipers like the car she was driving. It would be so simple if she could wipe her eyes and move on like her BMW did. ..
She didn’t expect that he would share her beliefs. It was an awful lot to ask someone to believe in things you can’t explain, can’t see or touch. Yet she had to do that every day, because impossible things happened to her all the time. She wasn’t looking for someone to believe the same way as she did. She was looking for someone to believe in HER!
She had believed in him. She looked up to him. She thought he was steadfast and solid and perhaps would be someone she could rest her head upon once in awhile. But he did not believe in her. And that harsh simple fact was the only reason “they” would not work. It was that simple. He was not the first to let her down and would not be the last. It was always the same. They never asked her about it or discussed it with her, they just judged her instead. Believing in her required some extra faith, extra guts. It required a man strong enough to unwrap the box, intrigued enough to spend time with the contents and brave enough to look closely to see what it was all about before discarding it as “freaky”.
She rode into the dark night alone once again left to navigate this strange but beautiful world by herself. Imagine experiencing things you thought were NOT real actually happening to you. Imagine the fear and uncertainty when the impossible is discovered to be the possible. It is unnerving to build a new reality. It is the loneliest place in the world. It is where she lives.
She learned through many dark nights of the soul how to travel on this road. It is a journey with no “hows” or “whys”?” . It can only be a journey of “where?” You can’t ask “why is this happening ?” You can’t ask “How can this be?” Those answers are not in the tangible world. They are in another dimension. The only question you can ask and still remain stable is “Where?” … “Where am I going?” and”“Where is this taking me?” She has learned the answer to the” where?” it is always a positive, always a good place, always a better place than the one before. This more than anything makes her believe.
Yes the “wheres” have formed her reality. They have created the belief that the impossible is the possible. When she sees where these impossible things take people she knows truth. When connecting with a message from someone who has crossed over, it is in the place of healing where you find proof that the phenomenon exists, not in understanding how the actual communication happens. The energy of Reiki and other healing modalities is proven in the place of healing where it takes the receiver not in finding a scientific formula for proving the existence of the energy.
She has watched what happens when someone passed over gives a message of forgiveness and gratitude to a loved one. She has seen a message delivered through a card spread that made someone take right action and change the course of their life. She has seen an alcoholic become sober through Reiki. She has seen cancer patients get relief and gain strength through the healing energy on her table. She has watched enlightenment and joy come to people from these experiences. She has seen people inspired to their life purpose from readings and messages.
Yes the proof is in the where. Where grief is turned into gratitude, where bitterness is turned into forgiveness, where anger is turned to compassion, where confusion becomes clarity, where sadness becomes hope, where disease becomes ease, where suffering becomes peace. The “where” is another dimension, the space of the “where?” is great unconditional love. She has seen lives changed for the better by these things she cannot explain or see or touch. This witnessing has taught her truth. It has taught her the value and importance of life. These “wheres” have shown her how to revere other people and hold a reverence for life in her heart. These experiences have shown her the purpose of her own life. And so she knows these things are real. These “things” these “ wheres” are small miracles. She knows these things are LOVE! She knows only LOVE is REAL!
She believes in love. She believes in herself. She is steadfast, , determined and wise. She is not crazy or unstable. She is not afraid of the things that she cannot explain, because she has seen where these impossible things have taken her. This has made her a grateful believer.
She is criticized for her beliefs, shunned and sometimes laughed at by the fearful. She is pushed aside and cast out by those who are “freaked out” by her without ever really knowing her. She is left to figure out what others run from. She has no choice, she cannot run away from herself or the things that happen to her or the work she is called to do. But what those scared souls don’t realize is that she was just like them. She was running away, leaving the gift unwrapped on the shelf until she asked the where Instead of the why, and realized that she was running away from love. And now she stays and faces the fear finds the "where" for them, the others who riducule and shun her. There is a love greater than any on earth, a love that exists in another dimension with the ability to change lives and create everyday miracles. Only when she changed her direction and went towards the places that scared her did she find out the truth…..
It is all love…these things we can’t explain… go towards them and find the place where they bring you. Reach for that beautiful place of love and find your highest potential!
Find your ..where .
Peace and love,
Spiritual Healer, Energetic Medium
This Blog is the story of the miracles, challenges and lessons of my life journey. Years ago when I hit a personal "rock bottom" my despair led me to seek answers and my quest for truth began. Amazing events propelled me on a spiritual journey of transformation.. Miraculously, through these experiences my life has become my teacher and my friend.... I hope my words connect us and allow us to walk together for a time as teacher and friend to each other. The most valuable thing we have during this human experience is our connection to love. The love in our soul for a higher power and others is the only thing that is real. I honor these connections through my writing. Theses words are my gift inspired through the heart of Spirit for you. I hope by sharing my journey it will enlighten, inspire and ease yours as it does mine >> ... Peace... Georgia Rose