Breaking out! We all have our stories- the ones we tell and the ones we would rather die 10,000 painful deaths before telling. As painful as breaking down and breaking through our fears to truth is, often the most painful part is the break out. Our fear of judgement and ridicule at sharing our experiences can leave us paralyzed in a life of pseudo truth and half reveals that never allow another to truly know us or learn from our heavily trod karmic footprints. I often speak of the breakdown>breakthrough>breakout process. Why? Because it is the triangle that gives us our foundation and reveals the purpose of our soul.
This process which is exclusive to the human species is one that forms our greatest strength and happens many times during our life. As our emotions respond to the truths revealed during painful break downs and breakthroughs we find tremendous strength in them. The purging and letting go allows more light into the crevices that we held tightly bound from view and we become more openhearted and steadfast inside. Our souls shift in this light and open space and we eventually become wholehearted as those spaces are filled with things that are born from the new light that the process has allowed in during breakthrough. When we are wholehearted we want to give more and our Spirits want to reach for love. No longer in fear, isolating parts of ourselves or keeping slices of our soul in deprivation we start to crave more than what we allowed ourselves to settle in. We long to share love and friendship and so we reach for it. Like tree branches longing for more sun we bravely reach for that which nourishes us further and we thrive. The root of our strength grown in the breakdown>breakthrough>breakout process usually results in outstanding triumph. An amazing and beautiful journey!
And yet we often fear sharing it. Why? One answer = Shame. Shame is a crippling emotion. Until it is released we are often powerless and so busy living in survival mode that we can not compensate for it no matter how hard we try. When shame buries us underneath its heavy putrid blanket we can't love, we can't let light in, we are too wounded and always ready to fight and defend. You can't make peace with clenched fists. You can't hug with both guns cocked. When you are in shame the hardest thing to do is open your palm and turn it up to the world, and say "here I am , look at me". Shame does not allow sharing of oneself. The fear of judgement and ridicule is the great silencer of this world. And we all participate as offender and offended. So maybe we could stop that....
Stop judging. Huge order, how can we do this? Well, we can begin today...with ourselves. Stop judging yourself. The energy that created you is standing in your presence right now holding arms open to accept you and see your beauty. Step into those arms and let it all go - all the shame and ugly thoughts you tell yourself. That is the first step to a world where we all put love where there is none.
As I said we all have a story...mine is revealed quite boldly in this blog I started 5 years ago. on my web site at www.georgiaroseconnection.com The Rose Blog is a telling of many persona experiences along my journey. In fact, it is so revealing that I lost friends over it. But I don't care because the "break out" was the most important part of my triangle. The trifecta of loss can not come full circle until we reach back to empower another with the triumph we are blessed with. I write about my tragedy and triumph in the hopes of helping just one other person triumph. My life is my teacher and my best friend. It took years to reconcile that and see beauty in repulsive things. I write about cancer and death and reiki and loss and discovery and all the crazy weird ups and downs that make us connected. My shame was great, my fear even greater.
But I poked through to reveal myself, white knuckles on keyboard shaking at the thought of others reading my words, because even as they flow through my tears and into the page I know Spirit is gifting them to me. In the beginning, as my bruised and battered heart poured out in the blog, I could feel years of ugliness and judgement release. I was stepping into my power, no longer powerless over the voices inside, I heard Spirit. Spirit lifted my shame and replaced it with love and connection from all of you. Yes, once again triumph. Now that still sometimes happens and I write from grief. But more often now, my words come from miracles now occurring in my everyday life. Miracles that I now see and was blind to before my breakthroughs. I look forward to more of them, in my challenges there eventually is more awakening.
But my story starts long before...
I was a lost little girl, in a very abusive chaotic home. By age 11 psychiatrists diagnosed me with PTSD. I never went to high school, I was home schooled because of agoraphobia. I rarely left the house for a few years. I guess you could say that I was the only one in my graduating class. My isolations were very deep rooted. Back then, prescription drugs were the answer to everything, so they drugged me, kept me mutable. Prescriptions and sedatives given to a fearful child in between beatings and harsh punishments. I now know I was receiving messages and energy from other realms, that I did not understand. I was highly sensitive. My father abandoned me at 13. That may have been a good thing but it caused more trauma, that I carried my lifetime. At 18 I broke free of some fears and became functional, small jobs, friends for the first time. Only to marry young. My first husband was someone who beat me bloody and stole my soul. It is true- We live what we learn. I escaped one day by climbing out a window and lived with friends, penniless, with nothing but the clothes on my back, I rebuilt my life at 25. I was determined to be something even while everyone around me didn't think I could. At 30 I got a real estate license. I found people started to listen to me, and I was in control. I became one of the top brokers on long island. I married well, I had a life I never dreamed of. Every abundance possible. And after 18 years of "everything" I was miserable, stressed unhealthy and ridden with anxiety. And in a 2 year period lost everyone and everything in 2011. Death, cancer, abandonment all came back to visit. Because I never faced them to begin with. Reduced to rock bottom, sick, broke and alone, I faced my shame, my abuse, my pain, and my own ugliness. And I found me. The real me. The heart of that little 11 year old girl who was receiving messages. The person I spent a life time blocking and throwing accomplishments and materialism on top of to hide the fact that she ever existed. Yes. when I stopped surviving I started thriving. That is why the breakdown>breakthrough>breakout is our salvation.
I have come a long way since that total rock bottom of 2011. I feel like I have lived a lifetime since then, reinventing and birthing myself. In some ways I have lived a lifetime since 2011, when I finally allowed myself to come out of the womb. I am finally living my real life- the one of joy and bliss and truth I was meant to live. I am authentically me and free to be so accepted and loved by myself and many others.
It was not easy to write this today. I know I have written you a book here...I have let you in to tell you that whatever phase of the triangle you are in keep going. Today my life is rich with meaningful relationships, a connection to Spirit and the other side that is infinite, a career that is amazing. The little girl who could not leave the house now speaks to audiences of hundreds and is an executive and industry leader. That little girl who was silenced with drugs and punishment now gets to speak to groups and teach Spirituality. No one will silence her again especially not shame, that little girl once silenced now speaks to Spirit every day without fear and is filled with gratitude for the simple Grace it brings. That soul will never be held down and is strong in her purpose and excited for the journey. I am a miracle. And so are you. Find your voice and then sing out... have no fear of judgement ...we are all waiting to hear you ... you should know what you have to say is important ..and saying it feels awesome! <3 <3 peace and love Georgia Rose > together we can heal the world! Peace and love Georgia Rose
Spiritual Healer, Energetic Medium
This Blog is the story of the miracles, challenges and lessons of my life journey. Years ago when I hit a personal "rock bottom" my despair led me to seek answers and my quest for truth began. Amazing events propelled me on a spiritual journey of transformation.. Miraculously, through these experiences my life has become my teacher and my friend.... I hope my words connect us and allow us to walk together for a time as teacher and friend to each other. The most valuable thing we have during this human experience is our connection to love. The love in our soul for a higher power and others is the only thing that is real. I honor these connections through my writing. Theses words are my gift inspired through the heart of Spirit for you. I hope by sharing my journey it will enlighten, inspire and ease yours as it does mine >> ... Peace... Georgia Rose