Yesterday my clients home closing ended at 5:30pm and I wasn't brave enough to get on the State Pkwy at rush hour so I found myself cruising down the calmer Ocean Parkway home. I noticed the sun light was somehow different and the air held a little chill, Autumn was pricking at the heels of our beautiful summer! I became a bit wistful thinking Summer would be over soon as I past the signs for the cold beer at The Beach Hut. I wasn't sure I enjoyed my favorite season this year with the appreciation I should have.
I thought about the last couple of summers before this one....partying with my social "posse" Friday nights full of good laughs and music and trips to Fire Island to hear live bands. Staying out late for "open mike" nights and evenings dancing at local restaurants and gathered on the great lawns for outdoor concerts. Sunday afternoons at an outdoor venue on the water or a band at one of the Beach Huts or a house party. In recent years there were much festivities and hard playing. Oh how we used to get the whole place going as the band played "Love Train" and we would start a parade train around the whole club or beach. We sure would get everybody up and dancing!
I felt a little sad I missed much of it. The photos of all my friends activities on social media kept me in touch but I was hardly ever there. By choice, by no choice and from necessity.
The truth is ... The world was in summer, but I was in a different season. I haven't reached the "summer" of my life yet. I am finally past winter and I think I'm in Spring!
You see, I had a really long winter..it was cold with loss and pain and the sting of icy emotions frozen in grief. The last couple of years I think I was chipping away at the ice... slowly thawing, emerging, finding my Spirit, chiseling out the beautiful heart I had coldly numbed somewhere along the path of survival.
This year brought my Spring, I have been blooming and growing, ascending towards the light. My spirit and heart are a garden rich and full of buds. Each one a promise of great things. The potential to love deeper, taste sweeter, live fuller, see brighter. But like any garden in Spring, mine needed tender care. And so by choice and by necessity I stayed home in solitude, worked the soil, fed the roots, watered the blooms and nurtured my soul. I made sure I had plenty of light.
Summer was all around me but I was entrenched in Spring, a tender time needing precious care. I grew closer to myself and God. I found my purpose. And in finding that purpose I fell in love with life again and devoted myself to stoking the fire of my renewed passion.
I spent my "Spring" building my spiritual business "Georgia Rose Connection", connecting with myself, new friends and clients. I have been building a brand like the The Girls Night INN and creating... healing my own wounds and others.
Through my Reiki practice and workshops and messages from Spirit I am allowed to touch lives and I am touched too. I feel so privileged that I am a conduit for the work of divine purpose, that I get to feel deep love in my life. It's new and I am still exploring its essence and the energy of it. It is in it's own infancy , it's own Spring.
And so I must stay with it , stay in spring, coaxing it to grow and thrive. In doing so I have not yet reached my "Summer." This place is delicate, it does not allow me to share in summer this year, but there will be other Summers.
I am a girl ( yes I still think of myself as a "girl") who loves the "rush" of a screaming guitar riff and a pounding drum solo, dancing to the band with abandon and the strong hugs and shared smiles of friends when we are all in the groove on the dance floor. I love the blue sky of the beach and sinking in the sand on a blanket full of belly laughter. I love a "love train"! I miss my friends. But they are all in summer and I'm here in spring, the seasons of our lives are a chasm separating us. It is the human condition to judge others when they act different from us. And so I feel them pulling away, moving along, forgetting me.
As they move away I am moving too. It's the flow of change that carries us. Allowing that surrender has brought me to the Spring of my life! Spring has taught me to accept that we don't grow jogging in place - we have to move...let things go..change the scenery, be brave.
Sometimes for a moment, I wish I could reach over the seasons and feel the warmth of their summer but my place is here now dancing with Spirit. The pull of my spring is too powerful to break away. I am rooted to the soil of this Spring! Spirit wants me here in this space for a little while until I master it. And then He will give me something even more beautiful. I know I will find my way to summer eventually, and balance it all. I trust true friends will still be there with warm hearts and arms outstretched for hugs, as I would be if they came to this season where I am.
For now my "rush" comes from seeing someone in my "Power of Wow!" workshop break through an emotional block they have had all their life and make huge life changes, or seeing a Reiki client have an experience on my table that gives them the courage to break an addiction. When a client whose brother has (unknown to me) committed suicide and Spirit chooses to give a spirit communication through me, that feeling of giving peace and healing to another soul is the most rewarding thingI have ever done. Every day another amazing experience happens and I am blessed with love. Unbelievable love from Spirit and others. And that has becomes my focus.
As with anything new I have to delve deep before I come up for air. Exploring every facet of it to make sure it's real. Especially with this ...something so intangible. I'm never satisfied for just a "taste" , I've always lived big, ardent, intensely, fiercely...I can't do it any other way. My passion is a fierce and formidable driver.
With the same deep lusty fervor I once dived into the summer parties in order to forget, I now dive into the depth of my soul in order to remember.
I have missed my friends while I do my work and although I envy their summer, I could not trade a single moment of my spring for it. To do so would be to slam the door on an opportunity offered to my soul. An opportunity I have waited my whole life for but strangely did not know existed. I am where I need to be, where I am supposed to be , in the here, in the now, feeling it fully, going deep not numb.
My numbing "winter" is over and I never thought it would be. It's summer distractions so fun and full and empty and bittersweet, kept me company so long and so well that at times they will still be needed even if not so often or so desperately. The connections, the friends I met in those places will always be in my heart as people I genuinely love. I have met knew friends our connections no less vital yet so very different.
And yet, I am so grateful for my spring that I feel guilty when I long for my own summer... but I can feel it coming... the hot tongue of its glowing heat is licking at my heels with beautiful promise as I master this present season of my life.
It has been an often lonely time but an amazing season. A season which in teaching me balance, has made me appreciate the unity of the "posse" , the tribe that I love and miss. The seasons of our life are all about connections ... after all everybody needs... the occasional "Love train"...
Peace and love,
Georgia Rose Connection is a place to give and receive love.It is a labor of love devoted to healing and empowering and learning. Connecting with myself, Spirit and you has brought so much to my life it can't be described. It can only be shared through experience.
There is a bittersweet feeling I get at the end of every event or class. It's like that feeling you get when you read the last page of a really great book. You are so immersed in the story and the outcome that your a little sad to read "the end" and put it back on the shelf. You want it to come alive in your hands and keep filling you. When everyone goes home and I close the door after a Reiki Circle or private reading or workshop or networking event , I am sad yet happy. The taste is bittersweet.
I am joyful for the amazing experience that was just shared but the silence of its end weighs heavy. I crave more... It is in that silence I hear Spirits call- to hold steady to my purpose on this earth plane and keep on doing His work... the work of my heart and soul.
That silence is pregnant with gratitude! And before the door even clicks closed my heart and head is planning the next "thing" that will bring joy and healing to someone I perhaps have not met yet. In that space I can feel my passion begin to bubble up as ideas divinely guided begin to flow. That passion is the cure for all that ails me.
So it is, that this wounded healer is renewed through the souls I connect with at Georgia Rose Connection. At times it is bitter and sweet, there are tears and pain before healing and joy poke through, sometimes it is my own tears and sometimes it is the tears of others. There is no difference really whether the experience is mine or observed in another because it washes over me with equal suffering and joy.
Sometimes the work is hard and dense and just when it begins to weigh heavy the joy and healing come and they are frosted with the sweet taste of gratitude and I taste the power of God's grace . All of it is an amazing unpredictable ride that fills you with Spirit and passion and great awe.
Sometimes I am embarrassed that in moments of weakness I briefly fantasize about hiding and going back to sleep. That slumber of years past that kept me numb and neutral without all the fuss and muss of soul work. Deep love and emotion brings its own discomforts at times..
But just like a Sunday morning when the kids
have jumped on your bed...you can't go back to sleep once awakened. Reluctantly yet happily you wake up because you can't risk missing these moments. You "see" whats real and you want to reach for it..the sound of the giggles whether from Angels or the kids, lure you awake ...like a mermaids song spurring you on. Once a seeker always a seeker..you can try but you can not hide!
It's a learn as you go world where every turn of the page brings another question until you are propelled forward seeking the answers.
Very quickly, you come to realize and embrace that the answers are in the most unbelievable places. They are all over, they come from our insides and our outsides, from nature, from each other, in our words and deeds, in sharing and connections in separation and isolation. They come in meditation and in prayer from reading words on a page, from idle conversation and deep thought. The answers come wherever we seek. But they don't come when we hide. And that is why just like there is always another trip to the bookstore for another novel there is always another class, another workshop and more Reiki and Readings. Because we seek, we crave, we learn, we grow, we live, we love. WE CONNECT!
So please join us...connect with us for a class or a workshop or private reading. Come seek with us. Live and experience a more fulfilling life of healing and passion and growth. This month we have so much to offer. My monthly "PINK CIRCLE" Reiki share for all breast cancer survivors or persons in treatment or recovery. This is a free service I offer as a breast cancer survivor ..an evening of meditation and Reiki Healing. All are welcome. I also continue my monthly St Germaine Group which is a powerful evening of meditation and prayer. All of these events are offered and put together to seek and create connections that make our lives more meaningful. Our calendar can be accessed on this web site under Event Sched or call or text me.
I look forward to connecting with you, myself and
Peace and love on your journey,
Spiritual Healer, Energetic Medium
This Blog is the story of the miracles, challenges and lessons of my life journey. Years ago when I hit a personal "rock bottom" my despair led me to seek answers and my quest for truth began. Amazing events propelled me on a spiritual journey of transformation.. Miraculously, through these experiences my life has become my teacher and my friend.... I hope my words connect us and allow us to walk together for a time as teacher and friend to each other. The most valuable thing we have during this human experience is our connection to love. The love in our soul for a higher power and others is the only thing that is real. I honor these connections through my writing. Theses words are my gift inspired through the heart of Spirit for you. I hope by sharing my journey it will enlighten, inspire and ease yours as it does mine >> ... Peace... Georgia Rose